May 11, 2011

Friends for Life

 Since Mother’s Day was last week I thought I would do a post about Mother/Daughter relationships.
To start I’ll talk about my relationship with my mom.  Now I have heard and seen mom/daughter relationships where they aren’t close or they don’t understand each other.  But I love hanging around my mom, she’s my best friend. Now by my saying that doesn’t mean that I’m an unsocialized homeschooler who is shut up at home and never meets girls my own age.

Maybe to explain I should talk about when I started getting close to my mom.

She wasn’t always my best friend.  When I was little I had “play dates” with girls my own age.  But when I was 11 I told her that I was lonely and wanted to meet some more girls.  So my parents put me in volleyball.  I loved playing volleyball and when we became an actual volleyball team I was made captain (but I think that was just because I was the tallest).  On the team there were seven other girls, most of whom were my age. 

We had a great time together, we were undefeated until the playoffs, and after the season I even had my first, only, and LAST sleepover (in our family room) with three girls from volleyball and one who had been my best friend ever since I was three.  I don’t ever want to have another sleepover again not because I didn’t like the other girls, but any time I’m not in my own bed and there are other people in the room I have a very hard time falling asleep.

But I’m getting off topic; my post is about mom/daughter relationships after all.

To wrap up the volleyball story I should tell you that I chose not to continue with volleyball the next year. It wasn’t because I didn’t have fun, oh no, I had a blast.  But since it took up so much time away from our family I just didn’t want to play another season.  I eventually drifted apart from the new and old friends I made during and before volleyball by my 13th birthday because our interests were different.

Volleyball wasn't a waste of time. I did it so I would have more friends and I still did have one friend who became my best friend: my mom.  You see on those 20 minute car rides to volleyball practice several times a week, we had time to talk. I might as well say it, I love to talk. You give me half an hour and I could be talking to you about three to five topics! It was during those car rides that my mom and I started to become close, and by the time I was 12 we were best friends.
Here’s a quick Q & A to answer some questions you might have…

Q: Doesn’t Catz know any girls her own age? 

A: Yes I do. I am currently pen pals with a girl I met when I was 13 and we've become good friends.  But I have no desire to seek out other girls my own age who I can tell my troubles, concerns, dreams, thoughts to.  I have my mom.  We share a lot of the same interests: sewing-baking-brainstorming-skirts-funniness-etc.  We talk a lot about a lot of things.  I love to hang around her and she with me.

Q: My mom is always busy, how do I start spending time with her?

A: Your mom most likely: cooks, cleans, etc. You can start by helping her with these things.  Oh yea, and talk about whatever you want while you do it. That is if it doesn’t distract you! Car-rides are another great place for conversations if it’s just the two of you.

Q: But I can’t stand my mom, why would I want to spend time with her? I don’t even respect her!

A: Because you’ll miss a whole lot if you don’t have a close bond with your mother.  It could literally impact several generations. Like dominoes, relationships through generations can go in the same direction as those before it.  The wrong way or the right way.  And about the respecting part, the Bible says to:
Honor your father and your mother…
                        Exodus 20:12

If God had that put in the Bible, in fact in the Ten Commandments, then it must be important!  You might try praying to God that he will change the way you feel about your mom.  You never know, you two might become very close. 

I hope that this post helps to strengthen your bond with your mom and/or encourages you in the fact that there are girls who defy what television says by having a good, real relationship with their moms.

What’s your relationship like with your mom?

If you’re a mom, how is your relationship with your daughter?  Is it going the way that you want it to?

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